2011 was a good year for me. A lot of good has come out of it such as my family re-uniting with my oldest niece and nephews. That was by far the best gift ever. I got a title to my name, even if I’m not working in it ATM- Personal Support Worker. There has been a lot more good out of it all, as well as bad, but I wouldn’t be where I am and the person I am today without those experiences. Although I was in a dark place,I’m grateful to those who showed me how not to be and how not to treat other people.

I’m hoping that 2012 brings happiness to my family and friends- both online and offline. I can’t wait to see what it has in store for me and what 2012 will bring me as well as others.

• How did you spend your New Years?

I went to a friends house because she was having a little party/get together with close friends. There seemed to be a lot of people that showed up which was great. We started off the night by playing (some of us) MW3 and cards/drinking games. We headed out around 11 to go down town for the countdown to 2012. We met up with some more friends which was nice because I haven’t seen them in forever.
After that we headed back. The buses were crazy packed, obviously, and it sucked! Luckily my friend doesn’t live too far from down town so the ride wasn’t that bad. We ended up going to Pizza Pizza before going back to my friends place- back to finish the party.
A few others and myself decided that we weren’t that tired so we stayed up listening to music, playing cards and drinking. All was going well, having a good time, laughing etc. Somewhere along the way it turned kind of ugly. 2 of the guys were off and on arguing throughout the night, but it was nothing major until out of the blue they went bursting out the door and started fighting

Regardless of the last part, I had a pretty good New Years with my friends
PS. Sorry this post is all over the place. I’m pretty tired, I’ve been up for more than 24 hours with only 4 hours of sleep!

• What’s would your safe word be?
  I’m not quite sure what this means, sooo.. N/A
• What are 3 things you think will become obsolete in ten years?
  Desktops, VHS/DVD’s – can’t think of another
• If someone were to buy you a shirt you wanted as a gift, would you be more upset if they bought a size too small or too large?
  Too big. I personally have major self-esteem issues and so I think if the shirt was too big then it would bother me a little.
• When playing Tic-Tac-Toe and you go first, which square do you usually start from?
  Top left corner
• If you woke up with an extra eye tomorrow, what would you do?
  I’d probably be extremely freaked out. I don’t think I would go out in public
• When did you last laugh?
  Allllllll night last night. Definitely a night to remember
• Would you ever consider living abroad?
  Depends on where, but when I really think about it, probably not. I need people, and I know I can’t survive without people I know. Sure I’ll meet some, but it’s just not the same
• What is your favorite thing to wear?
  Skinny jeans and v-neck shirts, and of course makeup
• When you were in school, did you speak up in class? Did you sit in front or the back?
  I was a quiet student and kept to myself (aside from a few close friends). I usually sat in the middle but to the side…
• Have you ever been bullied?
  Yes. I think we all have at some point.
• Would you rather be in a really cold place or a really hot place?
  This is a tough one. But I think my preference would have to be a really hot place. I’m usually cold, even in the summer, so I think it would be nice to live in a really hot place

The title of my blog, life is crazy, describes my life perfectly well at the moment. I’m not sure if I’ve been stressed out lately or what even causes my little ordeal. You’re probably thinking ‘what is she talking about?’. Well, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and feel as if I was choking/couldn’t catch my breath. I’d kind of freak out but I’d stay calm and try to catch my breath then I’d go back to sleep. No big deal I suppose??

The other night this happened to me again. I think it was a mixture of a couple things. I was sleeping on my bed which was in the living room because my sister and I were watching movies. I had fallen asleep but there was a loud noise which made me jump a mile high but I went back to sleep. Then, my sister coughed really loud and that again got me jumping a mile high and I had that choking/can’t breathe feeling again.

I don’t really know what happened all in all, but I remember saying to her that I didn’t feel right. I began to feel really hot inside but I guess I was really cold because when my sister put a blanket on me the shaking kind of stopped. It was still hard to breathe but it was all freaking me out. I told her to call my mom (cause moms fix everything) and she came. I was scared about going to the hospital but I thought I better go. In case if anything worse happened, there would be doctors and I’d be in “good hands” (or so you hope).

In the end I was told that I had, had a panic attack. FREAKY! the day before and the night of, I didn’t get any sleep. I only got that half hour of sleep before I was startled awake and all that. I didn’t sleep at all at the hospital and I didn’t sleep when I got home either because I was scared to. It got to be around 1PM and I guess my body couldn’t stand being awake and I slept for 2 hours.

I’ve been fine since, I just hope they stay away because that was seriously freaky as hell!! I go see my doctor on wednesday, so hopefully we can figure out what to do if they happen again and such.

As my title says, I’ve moved on. Remember my blog a few blogs back about my boyfriend and I? Well I’ve decided to kick him to the curb and move on. In the meantime I’ve met some pretty cool guy friends. They’ve all caught my eye in more ways than one, but I know I’m not ready for any sort of relationship just yet. I’ve decided to keep 2 of them as friends, because well, its better off that way and their not really my “type” in that sort of way.

One on the other hand has really caught my attention. He comes from way back in like, 2007 when I got with my first “real” boyfriend. “Real” because it was more than a couple days, it was years lol. But, this guy was his friend/aquantance and I’ve had a crush I guess you could say, on him since. It’s so weird how life works out.

Last night I stayed up talking to this one guy in particular. I did fall asleep but woke up at 3 and replied to a message he had sent (weird, I know, 3AM and all lol) and to my surprise he replied and we talked all night. He didn’t tell me he had work at 10:30AM so I felt pretty bad. I hope hes not dying lol.

Thats my life right now. I hope I don’t sound like some kind of whore or something LOL.

I feel like it’s a little boring, but I think that flowery background I made in PSP adds to it so adding more would be too much. I didn’t add my website name into the theme for that reason. Overall I like it very much, and I hope you do too!

Remember a few blogs back I blogged about my cousin and I and how we’re not talking? Well, we decided to put our differences aside and are talking. I’m actually going to her house tonight, for the night, and handing out resumes tomorrow with her. It’s going to be awkward I think, mainly because they have roommates who added to the drama back then and I don’t really like that girl. Oh well, I’ll just ignore her. I’m sure she’s going to give me this weird look when she sees me but that’s fine.

I’m hoping to get a job in her area because if I do, then I’m going to move with them. Now that’s a major change in what, a week?! baha! It’s only going to be me, my cousin, and her friend. We might get a town house cause its better than living in an apartment where you have to deal with stupid neighbours like the one they have above. He’s always calling the cops, or he’s out in the hall recording the “noise”…

When I get back, I’ll let you know how it goes

My Twitter name doesn’t show up too well. The second ‘p’ doesn’t look like one, so heres a link to my Twitter if you’d like to Follow Me. I also didn’t post my full name because I don’t feel comfortable posting it.

I’ve always wanted to go to Italy, but I changed my mind once I got with my boyfriend (or whatever he is now) because his first real girlfriend is Italian and he’s wanted it all with her, but nothing when it comes to me. Anyway, back on track… I’ve been having this dream that I’m getting ready to go to Italy. I get my bags packed, we go to the airport, get our tickets and are waiting to aboard the plane. It’s leaving at 8:30PM and we’re always early. I freak out that I’m missing stuff or forgot something at home that I need- home isn’t far away so we go. I end up taking everything out of my bag only to realize I have everything, even the things I thought I forgot. This part is ALWAYS the same.

After, we head back to the airport. In one of my dreams we’re waiting to aboard the plan, and it turns out to be smaller than what I remember. People can sit right at the front, but to my surpise they’re the ones “driving” the plane. We take off and we have no idea how to fly the plane or what direction we should be going. We end up landing the plane and have to wait for the next plane that leaves, but I wake up.

Another is that we are on our way back to the airport, but something else gets in the way and we never return to catch our plane. I always wake up, and I never get to go. It’s so frustrating and I’m not sure why. I don’t understand why I keep having this same dream, and why it’s always me going to Italy? What is it about Italy that I keep dreaming about going there? My mom says I watch too much Jersey Shore, but it has nothing to do with Jersey Shore. Weird.

On another note, I’ve recently entered a contest. I never have good luck but you never know right? It’s happening over at Dehlu. You have the chance to a .info domain and hosting, a .org domain and hosting, and plugs of your website on Dehlu. I reccommend you to test your luck and join as well Good luck to you if you do decide to join.

I’m sure you’re all wondering what’s going on seeing as my title is what it is. Well, let me tell you. I don’t know why it’s bothering me, but it is. Okay, so, my cousin who was like my sister and I haven’t talked in a few months. Not since her bithday to be exact, which was in June. What started it all was this: I was supposed to move in with her and her friend (or should I say, girlfriend), but she went all psycho on me saying I couldn’t say yes, and that I’ll never be able to let go of my parents and move out etc. Just a bunch of bullshit. I played her game twice as hard seeing that she was coming at me the way she was, and I said on facebook “At least I wasn’t forced by my girlfriend to move out.”

I guess that was a little overboard on my part because their sexually and relationship had been a secret to the world and only a select few people knew. A lot of girls call their female friends “girlfriends” so it wasn’t THAT obvious and that I “told”. I felt bad after.

Like I mentioned before, I haven’t talked to her since June. The other night we went by her apartment and saw them out on the balcony. This got me thinking and that I should apologize to the both of them. It wasn’t my place to tell anyone (I say this because I did tell someone, my sister in law). But, on the other hand, my sister in law and my cousin were talking, and my cousin told my sis in law the reason why she deleted her off facebook was so she wouldn’t tell me what she was saying about me. My sister in law let me go on her facebook and read the messages between them, and I seen for my very own eyes the things she was saying and trying to convince her to go against me.

Later that night I messaged her and I said sorry for everything, and that I knew the things she had said about me and her trying to get people to turn against me. She denied it all, obviously. Sorry but you can’t, I saw it with my own eyes. I forgive her nonetheless. I’m just sick of this drama between us.

SUPER long story short, they came out on facebook and are legit engaged. There’s comments back and forth saying I love you, and people commenting saying congrats on the engagment. Because I was so pissed at her, I ended up telling my Grandma the other day. I told her everything I knew and that she told me herself they were dating. There are pictures of them kissing on facebook as well. My grandma and my cousins mom ended up going to my cousins place to question her and see if it was true. Surprise, surpise, she denied it. Even after telling me she told her mom. Now I look like a “liar” to the rest of my family because they believe her.

If you’re really in love with another female, and are engaged, why are you so scared to let your family know? Shouldn’t your family be the first to know of your engagment? Why are you so ashamed of who you are and who you love? If I was a lesbien and my girlfriend denied me, right in front of me, to my family, I would be saying bye. I find so many things to be wrong with this situation.

Anyway, onto other thoughts. I’m thinking of deleting my visitor content completely. I have no time for it, and they can be found else where anyway. I just want to be more original- yes, its hard to be such a thing. I want to focus more on blogging/writing. Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, I want to go back to school to become a Registered Nurse, and there will probably be a lot of writing involved. I know there was when I had taken Pre-Health.

Hmm. A lot of websites I visit these days are amazing. Their graphic skills and layouts are just, WOW. A lot of people who I began web designing with are now soaring high while I’m still down in the basics and have plain layouts lol. I wish I was more creative. I have ideas, but they never work out. I guess thats why I’ve now turned to premades (thank you, to those who I download from) because I get too frustrated to complete my own when things don’t go right or how I imagined them to go.

Story of my life, heh.